Life Is Hard: Learn to Love and Care for Yourself Through Challenges

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ”
— Pema Chödrön, author and ordained Buddhist nun in the Vajrayana tradition

Life is hard. At some point, we all experience things that are challenging, times that push us to our edges and experiences that we wish we didn’t have to go through. I’m touched by the hard things that we all navigate and grateful for the trust you have in me when you share your hardships with me. I’ve been reflecting back on hard seasons of my own life and what those times gave me, in spite or perhaps because of their challenges.

I think that so much of life’s beauty can be found by learning to love ourselves and care for ourselves through these challenges. And while there is lots of advice out there, I hope you give yourself permission to take what you like and what resonates with you and leave the rest. Going through a period of challenge can be lonely. As a society, we aren’t good with sitting with what’s uncomfortable, which can make it feel even harder if you aren’t moving through your hardships “fast enough” for those around you. Sometimes the people who you thought would support you don’t (or can’t) and you can feel like you are braving the storm alone. There isn’t a set timeline and it’s important to honor your needs and not listen to the (mostly well meaning) advice that may be offered.

I think we all can benefit from support, especially when life is rough. Do you need support? Can you ask for support and have that ask be honored? You might find support in a different place than where you anticipated it, but finding the right support can really help.

Are you taking care of yourself? It can seem so basic, but ensuring that you are sleeping, eating well and moving your body are foundations of health that help us all the time. These foundations can be something to lean on when things feel harder than normal.

Our experiences shape us and leave an impact on who we are. Moments eb and flow and never stay the same. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate challenges and reach out if you need support.

Thoughts on "Bad" Posture

How important is having “good” posture? What is good posture and how much does it matter for how we feel in our bodies?

I’ve had so many people over the years tell me how “bad” their posture is. Pilates is known as exercise that promotes good posture, and when I was in my training program there was a lot of focus on assessing and cueing for better posture with the idea that the “good” posture is better and also prevents or heals injuries. 

The more I learn, there are aspects of this that aren’t really so black and white. We do ourselves a disservice in labeling one posture as good and another as bad. There aren’t any bad postures. Your body isn’t bad. You might have developed patterns and ways of sitting, standing and moving that feel set in place, sure. But I don’t think there is some magical perfect posture to obtain. I do think it is interesting to be aware of what changes your posture (hint, often it is your emotional and nervous system state!) and what your awareness of comfort, discomfort, tension and ease are in different postures. 

Our bodies are designed to move and to explore different ranges of motion and different ways of being in our bodies. When we explore different ways of moving, and different postural alignments, we are bringing more options and more choice to our bodies, which is a wonderful thing. I think it’s fun to explore posture and movement from this perspective, instead of feeling that we are bad and need to be fixed.

How does your experience of your posture change when you approach changes from a place of curiosity and playfulness, instead of feeling like something is wrong with you? Questions or thoughts let me know!

Finding January Balance

The cold, dark winter days encourage going inward, being less social and less active … a season of hibernation. I think about cozy blankets, snuggled up near a warm fire and eating warm foods that feel comforting and nourishing. After the busyness of the holidays, I look forward to having a time of doing less. As someone who often has a goal or intention, I like to find balance with adding in the things I do want for the winter and the year ahead.

In January, the year is fresh and new and there are many pulls to improve ourselves with efforts like dry January, detoxes or starting an exercise routine. For some, it can be inspiring and motivating to feel and take part of that January goals energy. Just make sure you’re setting a goal because you truly want to do it and not because that’s what you think you need to do. January is a perfect time to take a step toward a goal, while also allowing yourself plenty of time to just be, rest and see how it feels to integrate that step. Sustainable change happens slowly, it’s often boring and sometimes improves at an almost imperceivable pace. So integrating one small step toward change in a month where our seasonal inclination is to rest is huge!

Can you find the balance between resting and doing? If you have goals and intentions for this year, now is a time to take tiny steps. Then let your body and nervous system integrate those shifts and enjoy a slower time of year.

Reach out to me at rooted.cville@gmail.com if there’s a way I can help you take a step toward your goals.

Braised Chicken with Sweet Potatoes and Dates

I saw this recipe in The New York Times and thought it sounded good, and it has not disappointed! It has quickly become a weekly staple in my house. The flavors are warming and it is perfect for this time of year.

Ingredients:

2 1/2 boneless, skinless chicken thighs

2 teaspoons salt

1 1/2 teaspoons ground coriander

1/2 teaspoon cumin

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 1/4 pounds sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch chunks

1 pound carrots, peeled and cut into 1/4 inch thick coins

1 cup dates or prunes diced (or could substitute other dried fruit)

1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest

1 teaspoon grated or minced fresh ginger

1 (2 inch long) cinnamon stick

1 large pinch ground cayenne or red-pepper flakes

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, more as needed

1 large leek, trimmed, halved lengthwise and sliced into half-moons

1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice

3/4 cup fresh cilantro or dill or other fresh herb of your choice

Directions:

In a large bowl, combine chicken thighs, 1 teaspoon salt, coriander, cumin and pepper, tossing well. Set aside to marinate while you prepare the other ingredients.

In another large bowl, add the sweet potato, carrot, dates, lemon zest and grated ginger, cinnamon stick, cayenne and remaining 1 teaspoon of salt.

Preheat the oven to 350.

In a 5- to 7- quart Dutch oven, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add as many pieces of chicken to comfortably fit in the bottom of the pan without crowding. Brown both sides, about 5 minutes. Transfer the chicken pieces to a plate. Repeat with the remaining chicken, adding more oil as needed.

Add leeks, a pinch of salt and more olive oil if the pan looks dry. Sautee leeks until they are gold and tender, 5 to 7 minutes

Place half the chicken in one layer on top of the leeks. Top with half the sweet potato mixture, spreading it out evenly over the chicken. Repeat with the remaining chicken and sweet potato mixture. Pour orange juice into the pan.

Cover the pot and transfer to the oven. Cook covered until the chicken and vegetables are tender, for about 55 to 70 minutes, stirring the mixture after 30 minutes. Sprinkle with fresh herbs and serve. I’ve enjoyed this served over rice.

Serves 6-8 (or so the recipe says. We get about four servings over her.

Recipe courtesy of The New York Times.

Permission to Slow Down in a Busy Season

We’re moving rapidly toward Thanksgiving and the busyness that comes with this time of year. The holiday season pulls us to do more — to be more social, spend more time out of our homes, do more things and potentially be stretched thin. While this time is praised as being a joyful time of year, I’m find it helpful to notice what you enjoy about the holidays. And also to notice what you don’t enjoy. Is there ways that you can support and care for yourself to make this time of year feel good in your body?

It always seems notable to me that the outward pull of energy the world encourages this time of year is directly opposite to what the natural world is doing — shorter days, more darkness, cold weather, hibernation and going inward. I’m always interested in finding balance between enjoying the festivities of this time of year while finding space for quiet and stillness.

If you find this time of year challenging, I encourage you to carve out time to care for and nurture your body in ways that feel supportive and good for you. Do the holiday things you truly want to do and skip the ones that you don’t want to do. Take time to move your body. Sleep enough. Drink enough water. You have permission to care for yourself the way that you need.