Finding Small Pleasures in Simple Moments

I was on my early morning walk along the Rivanna River with Winnie dog recently, and something caught my eye.

It looked like the water was moving in the wrong direction. A closer look showed me that a beaver was swimming upstream. He was swimming with ease, skimming through the water and looked to be enjoying his morning swim. I haven’t noticed a beaver on the river in a while, and it’s always nice to notice animal friends. Away he swam and then dove under to his dam. I noticed how much joy this simple moment brought me.

Tuning into these types of moments is really supportive for the parasympathetic nervous system, the branch of the nervous system that supports rest, digestion and rejuvenation. If you have a history of trauma, it can be especially hard to notice the good as your nervous system is even more primed to be alert for potential dangers and can be quick to activate into fight or flight. Connecting to these small, simple things can support your body in feeling glimmers of good and can be profound in teaching your nervous system how to have more capacity. The more we can stay present, the more we can increase our capacity. Being present with pleasure also helps us hold our pain more easily.

Because of how much I enjoy noticing these small moments, I’m really trying to notice more of them — the bright red cardinal against the gray tree branch, the way the sun shines on the floor of my Pilates studio, the softness of Winnie’s ears and the first sprouts of green of spring flowers.

Will you join me in this practice of noticing small feel-good moments?

I know life is doing its thing, and for many it seems to be particularly hard right now. This practice isn’t to pretend hard things aren’t happening or to try to make them better. This is a practice of tuning into small things that happen every day that bring you a sense of pleasure, support, joy or contentment.

If you try this I’d love to hear how it goes and how it supports you to feel more connected to your body and to your day.

What to Do When 'Feeling Overwhelmed' Takes Over

It is so common to feel overwhelmed. For many, life feels like that a lot of the time, which is hard on our bodies and nervous systems. Feeling overwhelmed often can easily put us in what I call “a state of overwhelm.”

What is the feeling in your body when you feel overwhelmed? Anxiety? Restlessness? Difficulty concentrating? Racing thoughts? Worries about the future? Wanting to act but not being sure how? Feeling frozen and stuck? Overwhelm can show in our bodies in various ways, and we each have our own patterns.

Overwhelm happens when we get stuck in a fight or flight stress response. While our stress response is a good thing (we’re designed to be able to respond appropriately to threats), constant and low level stress pushes our nervous systems beyond the capacity of what we can handle, and in comes the overwhelm.

Our nervous system likes space, slowness and time to integrate changes. So often in our modern world, we are not given that opportunity, which can lead to the opposite experience that our nervous systems ideally want. Before we reach a state of overwhelm, something or many things push us to that point where our nervous system says, “I can’t do this right now.”

When you’re in the midst of this experience, you might not be clear on how to get out of it. How do you get the wired and tired feeling to stop? Why can’t you settle down and rest? Why do you feel stuck on the couch with what feels like no motivation, even though you keep thinking about all the things you want or need to do? If you’ve experienced this, you make sense!

Once you are aware of this happening, can you take small steps toward supporting your nervous system? One way to do this is to notice your state of overwhelm and the accompanying sensation in your body. Then, see if there’s something your body wants to do. Sometimes, it might be movement, sometimes it might be collapsing. See if you can be with that impulse and give your body a little time to be with that feeling, then see what happens next.

When we allow our bodies the time and freedom to explore the sensations in our body, often something will shift. Sometimes a deeper breath, a yawn and a little bit of settling. Then notice what feels different. It might not be a huge change, but noticing the small change is the perfect place to start.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, a Somatic Experiencing session can help you understand more about your personal patterns and how to support what you need. Reach out if you’d like to schedule a session or learn more.

How to Tap the Power of Your Body to Heal from Stress and Trauma with Somatic Experiencing

Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a practice that helps you heal from stress and trauma, with a body-oriented approach rather than the thought-oriented approach of traditional therapy.

When we have a stressful or traumatic experience, our body should move through a natural and automatic nervous system process that allows our physical body to process the experience. This process doesn’t always happen as it should, and some of this nervous system energy can get “stuck” in our bodies. If we’ve experienced repeated stresses, this can build up and create stronger patterns that impact how we respond to future stressful situations. This stuck — or dysregulated — nervous system energy can show up as symptoms: anxiety, chronic pain, fatigue, trouble sleeping, difficulty in relationships, digestive issues, depression and other health challenges.

SE gently works with your physical body to support you in navigating the challenging life experiences we all go through.

The Nervous System: At the Root of Stress and Trauma

A simple definition of trauma is anything that we experience as being “too much,” “too fast” or “too soon.” Trauma may result from an acute stress (e.g., an accident) or cumulative stress (e.g., living with a chronic health condition). Both types of stress can impact a person's ability to live with resilience and ease.

The nervous system guides our fight or flight response, and understanding the way ours guides us to respond to stress has huge impacts on our overall health.

So what is the nervous system, exactly?

The central nervous system (CNS) consists of the brain and spinal cord.

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) automatically regulates all the basic functions of our body, as well as our survival responses. It has two branches (sympathetic and parasympathetic), and it does all these functions on its own, automatically and outside of our conscious awareness. This is pretty cool and useful (your heart just keeps on beating without you telling it to, for example).

This is also why you can’t “make” yourself be more relaxed or think your way out of situations when you feel triggered.

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) helps us rest, unwind, reorganize and regenerate after threat or stress. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) gets our whole body ready for action. It regulates arousal and increases activity in times of stress (good or bad stress).

Ideally, our nervous system will move between these two states with ease. Through trauma, however, we can get stuck in one state or oscillate between the two. That can cause symptoms of dysregulation, which can be unpleasant as well as impact our health negatively. Our nervous system is always trying to keep us safe. Often when we’re feeling symptoms, it's stuck in a pattern that is no longer serving us.

SE works to support more nervous system regulation and the release of nervous system energy stored in the body, thus addressing the root of trauma. This translates to more ease in your physical body and fewer symptoms. It gently supports your ability to be present to difficult feelings in your body and cultivates a deeper capacity for resilience.

What Is a Somatic Experiencing Session Like?

An SE session is typically done with both of us seated. Sessions can be done virtually or in person and will start by gently guiding you to notice your body: your feet on the floor, your hips in the chair, your breath and the environment that you are in. We’ll build on this to gently explore the sensations in your body or a relevant past experience that has felt challenging for you.

SE sessions will always focus on sensations in the body, so even though we may talk about experiences, we’ll be focused and curious about sensations in the body in the present. In an SE session, I might encourage you to move parts of your body or to get up and explore a movement. While the impact of these sessions can feel subtle in the moment, they are very impactful over time and can send a ripple of well-being out into your life.

Reach out to see is a session would be supportive for you.

My Favorite January Habits.

January is a new year, and also dark, cold and sometimes can feel like a big letdown from the buzz of holiday busyness. Here’s a few things that I personally focus on in January that I find supportive and restorative.

• The sauna! I found true love last winter in the heat of the wood fired sauna at Rivanna River Company. Sweating it out (followed by an invigorating cold plunge if desired) feels comforting and restorative in the cold dark winter. Learn more about the sauna here.

• Getting clear on any goals, both personally and professionally, that I want to focus attention on in the coming year. I like journaling to help support this.

• Reading is a favorite pastime for me and when it’s dark so early it feels like an especially good use of time.

• I often do a clean eating reset in January and focus on simple, whole foods while reducing sugar and other inflammatory foods. I also really enjoy warm soups and stews this time of year and I like to try new recipes.

• I Turn into a bit of a hermit. After a busy fall and holiday season, January can feel like a restorative retreat.

• Focus on movement that feels good and supports me but isn’t about any extreme goals (I find spring is much more aligned with this for me).

These are all things that I find I enjoy in the winter and are by no means what you should do, but if any of them strike your fancy, enjoy my suggestions :) And I love supporting you with your goals (fitness or otherwise) so if you’d like to schedule a coaching session to support them please reach out!

Free 45-Minute Pilates Mat Class

Is your body craving a little movement? Nourish yourself this holiday season with this FREE Pilates mat class.